Otherwise, it was a good day for the last day of the third quarter. We shall see what the fourth quarter brings, but I expect it will be good.
Deeds, Actions, Change, PORK, Kindnesses, Whirled Peas, FUN!
I am posting this perfectly idyllic photo to make all of you (gentle readers) that I had a wonderful, glorious day. My day did not suck, but it could have been a little bit better. There could have been fewer wrecks on my inbound commute. There could have been fewer idiots calling me on my variety of electronic messaging devices. I just found out that Facebook is going to start charging me $100 a day to subscribe to their product, and they are going to send all my personal information (including the credit card number I provided for their service fee) to Putin, the bare-chested little short-shit in Russia. Did you know the Pope is not really Catholic. It was in the Enquirer. This just in, wild bears DO NOT shit in the woods. Who knew? According to building Alaska (24 hours a day on HGTV), wild bears actually prefer to knock down doors of log cabins looking for Slim Jim's left laying about willy-nilly, and as long as they are in there, they will seize on the opportunity to shit in the middle of the bed. It was on HGTV for (enter the deity of your choice) sake. Lucille Ball was not really married to Desi Arnaz. Matt Dillon threw Miss Kitty over for Festus. Andy was not really from Mayberry, and Gomer went AWOL in the second season. Jackie Gleason was not fat, he was wearing a prosthetic as a ratings gimmick. The June Taylor Dancers were really organized by a guy named George, and speaking of people named George, George of the Jungle was really from Bakersfield. Back in the early twentieth century, the work week was only three days long and they work day lasted from 10 am until 2 pm. Roosevelt screwed that all up to get his social services programs going, so we could all have to wait until 70 before we could retire with full benefits. And don't get me started about Eleanor. Donald Trump is one ugly-mutha. That is obvious to everyone. That is a whole bunch of ugly if you ask me.
I have to tell you, as far as I am concerned, the jury is still out on the Oxford Comma. I was doing just fine (journalistically) until my friend Jonathan started to correct my grammar and otherwise question my authority as a blogger...Oxford Comma, Smoxford Comma. Blah, blah, blah. It brings back (bad) memories of being corrected about how many spaces to put after a period. I am almost to the point where I can leave only one space after a period and have it feel somewhat natural, sort of acceptable, sort of... But this Oxford Comma crap has got me going cray cray. The freaking comma itself cannot even determine what it wants to call itself (see a journal entry a while back about the same problem my brother had deciding on what name he wanted to be called). The Oxford Comma is also known as the serial comma and/or the Harvard Comma. Its (is an apostrophe necessary here?) name is always pretentious (I like that part), and its (HELP ME) purpose is always the same: it comes before the conjunction (usually three things along with the word "and" or "or") in a list of things.
Dogma: Dog*ma. Noun. Or maybe an apostrophe, I am never sure. It could be a dangling participle, or maybe a dongle, I am so confused. But I digress: Dogma is a principle or set of principles laid down by an authority (quite often me) as incontrovertibly true (more evidence). It serves as part of the primary basis of an ideology or belief system, and it cannot be changed or discarded (except by me) without affecting the very system's (apostrophe) paradigm (twenty cents), or the ideology itself. The term can refer to (if I approve) acceptable opinions (everybody's got one) of philosophers or philosophical schools, public decrees, religion, or issued decisions of political authorities. The term derives from the Greek (I was in a fraternity) *&%$^, "that which seems to one, opinion of belief" and that from (another Greek word) "to think, to suppose, to imagine". The plural is either (multiple choice here) dogmas or dogmata (isn't dogmata more commonly referred to as 'poop'), from yet another Greek word. The term "dogmatics" (as opposed to "dogthreespeed), is used as a synonym (means the same thing) for systematic theology, as in some guy's (is that the proper use of an apostrophe) defining textbook of neb-orthodoxy, the 14 volume Church Dogmatics.
Carma: Car*ma. Noun. (In Hinduism and Buddhism, but not in Volkswagenism). The sum of the vehicle's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding it's fate in future existences. Carma refers to the good actions or deeds of your vehicle. It also refers to your vehicle's spiritual principle of cause and effect (ex: you go too fast you crash into vehicle in front of you, then you wait and hope you do not come back as a Yugo). Good intent and good deed contribute to good Carma, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad Carma and future suffering (see example above, but replace the word "Yugo" with the word "Plymouth"). Carma is closely associated with the idea of rebirth in some schools of Asian religions (ex: Kia and Hyundai). In these schools, Carma in the present affects the vehicle's future in the current life, as well as the nature and quality of future lives (ex: if you fail to let other vehicle merge, you crash and return as a faux cast iron patio set on sale at HEB). Bottom line: my car is much kinder than I. My car wants other cars to merge, wants to keep a safe distance from other vehicles, and wants to leave driveways open so oncoming vehicles could turn left into them. I love my car.
Generally when I am at a loss for a journal topic, and particularly when I have no photos with which to enhance the days' journal entry, I will do an Interweb search (okay, a Google Search) for interesting words and associated photographs (public domain) that I can use on that day. Today I was at a particular loss for interesting topics to rant about, so I did a couple searches, and finally settled on "downfall of society" fully expecting (and hoping?) that a FacebFacebook logo (albeit a really old one) appeared on the next to the last row of images related to the "downfall of society". That cannot be right. I am getting weary of everything being shared and copied and forwarded and pasted and blah, blah, blah. I cannot remember what I used to fill my days with before Facebook, but I really have no intention of declaring a moratorium of my access of the medium. It seems I can no longer go more than 10 minutes without looking to see if someone or something really more important than whatever else it is I am doing is asking for my advice or opinion, or sharing (the dreaded sharing) advice or an opinion with me. I have certainly become more liberal with my "unfriending" finger, and I am not particularly happy about that either. What is the Interweb etiquette when "unfriending" someone? Do you send them an e-mail announcing that decision, or do you just deny it when you come across them in a social setting, mumbling something incoherent about "well, I lost all my data when I switched to MicroSoft 10, so that must have been it", or do you just fess up and say "I really just think you are a DICK, and I got fed up with the crap on your Facebook page.
Let's talk about the inappropriate expulsion on noxious odors, shall we? I believe (although a search of the Interweb cannot confirm) that perhaps the Bard put it best when he set pen to paper and wrote "Speak tho me sweet lips, I'll find you". I swear I remember that from high school, but I cannot find it. As reported in this journal last evening, I experienced a dinner replete with re-fried something-or-other which caused me certain gastronomical events throughout the night. I cannot either confirm or deny that my dreams were an actual reality, but I can tell you that if it was not a dream, a new hole in the ozone layer has developed high above the skies on the edge of nowhere. Let's call a fart a fart, shall we? This entire conversation began a few weeks ago while I was out of town, having dinner with a distinguished gathering of colleagues. Although I was trying my best to curtail the conversations at the table while maintaining an appropriate modicum of decorum (?), the conversation quickly took a plunge to depths I had not often frequented. As a result, I am now aware of the volume of "fart apps" that can be found with just a few strokes on my personal electronic device, otherwise referred to as "my huge tool". Those apps include, but are not limited to farts, farts for free, fart sounds, bacon farts, fish farts, farts vs zombies, farts & burps, atomic farts, fart cushion, fart cushion II, fart cushion III, and econo-fart.
The cotton fields have been all abuzz with activity for he past couple of weeks, and they work well into the nights since every imaginable piece of harvesting equipment and the paraphernalia that goes along with it is equipped with high powered lighting. In the evenings when I walk the girl dog and put the girl chickens to bed, you can see them hustling about chopping and baling cotton. When Jody took the girl dog for her ride this morning, we drove past these bales, there are lots of blue jeans and CostCo shirts right there!
I actually like seeing school buses on the road, especially the two lane county roads out here on the edge of nowhere. I reminds me that, to some young people, this is their 'simpler time', and that let's me take a moment and put on the brakes, sit back and chill. Well worth it, too.
This is what is left of the chewy toy we bought the girl dog on Saturday. It was supposed to be sturdy and long lasting for even the chewiest of girl dogs. I guess we can audition her for the girl dog chewy olympics, or maybe a gig at the dog chewy testing labs at Consumer Reports. Anyway, the one we got her yesterday (bacon flavored) has survived the d
I was particularly unproductive today. I woke up at about 4 a.m. and could not go back to sleep. I went to the blue chair and the girl dog joined me for a while, and Jody got up around 6:30 and that pretty much started the day off. Made coffee, loosed the chickens, read the paper, made breakfast, went back to the blue chair where I remained until about noon, dozing off and on. Jody took the girl dog for a ride, and I accompanied them from the back seat. I must say, the girl dog is an attentive thing, and she is all seeing when out for a walk or a ride.
I saw this car driving down Lamar this morning, and it looks MUCH more interesting from the front than it does from the side. I tried maneuvering so that I would be stopped in front of it at a traffic signal, but that was not to be. The best I could do was this side shot. I could not decide if it were some brand of automobile, or if it were a customized Volkswagen, because honestly from some angles it looked like a Beetle. Once I got to a stopping place and looked carefully at the photo, it is indeed a real brand of vehicle, a Citroen. From what I can recall, Citroen's always have (had?) an interesting back end similar to this one, and I think they were an innovator in hydraulic shock absorbers. Jody said they were always known for their comfortable rides. Interesting car, driven by a young woman in Austin this morning.
The room attendant at the swanky place I am residing in (until Thursday) has one goal in life, one job (as it were), and that job is to ensure my happiness and enjoyment with no unnecessary concerns or distractions. We have decided to participate in a duel of wills, a veritable battle to the end as to where the papier hygienique (in order not to offend the delicate sensibilities of my legion of followers) should be placed. It is obvious that the architects idea of papel placement was not the result of any ergonomic studies. The placement of the roll is not intuitive. If indeed there had been a time/motion study of this vitally necessary (but usually unmentioned) product placement, it would most likely have required the re-engineering of the entire 'facility'. But in all honesty, it seems the expense of that exercise would only need to be expensed on one occasion, I mean, after you master the function and floor plan of a Hotel en suite, you are pretty much done. And do not get me started on urinals.