Tired of the same old crap? Well, here you go...Q: What does a bee do when it is hot?
A: He takes off his yellow jacket!
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it!
Q: How hot is it in Southern California?
A: So hot every fat guy sweating in the city smells like Bacon!
Q: How hot is a Los Angeles summer?
A: So hot that I saw a fire hydrant chasing a pack of dogs!
Q: What happened after the mom purchased a loaf of bread from Albertsons?
A: By the time she got home it was toast!
Q: What do you need to visit Death Valley, Arizona?
A: Dental Records
Q: What do you call the Robin Williams movie about a hot California summer?
A: Mrs. Droughtfire.
Q: What did the air conditioning say to the man?
A: I'm your biggest fan.
Q: What are the only two seasons in Phoenix, Arizona?
A: Hot and Hotter.
Q: How do heat lamps communicate?
A: Lampost
Q: What did the one pig say to the another at the beach?
A: I'm bacon!
Q: Which is faster, heat or cold?
A: Heat, because you can catch a cold!
How hot is it?
the cows are giving evaporated milk.
the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs
I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin'
hot water now comes out of both taps.
every time I think about ice, water pours out of my ears.
you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
the cows are giving evaporated milk.
the chickens are lying hard boiled eggs.
you start buying stock in Gatorade.
the trees are whistling for the dogs.
you start putting ice cubes in your water bed.
you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
Satan decided to take the day off.
the four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
your dream house is any house in Alaska.
you can make instant sun tea.
your car overheats before you drive it.
you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
My apologies to Henny Youngman and to the rest of you, too.
Deeds, Actions, Changes, COLD, Kindnesses, Whirled Peas, FUN!
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