2012 - Day 321/45 - Friday...

Yes indeed ladies and germs, it is Friday, and although I am (also) indeed doing my little Happy Dance to celebrate that fact, I am choosing to downplay that fact and instead focus on food that is mass produced, some of it with a more guaranteed future than others.

Yes, I know that Hostess is shutting down its' operations, and everyone is talking about Twinkies, but I want to spend some time talking about one of my real (from the past) favorites.  In my jaded youth, there was nothing I liked more than stopping on the way home from the bar and purchasing a Hostess Fried Apple Pie, a Hostess Fried Cherry Pie, and a pint of chocolate milk.  Yes, I bought TWO fried pies at a time, one of which was consumed en route, and the other was consumed after I got home (if I was conscious for that long).  The way to do it was to take a bite of pie and a slug of chocolate milk, swirl the contents of your mouth around (much like sampling a fine wine except the quantities were MUCH larger), chewing a little as possible, and swallowing.  Repeat until either the pie and the milk were depleted or you passed out and drooled all over yourself, only to wake up the following day wondering if the car was indeed parked outside.

One of these days I will tell you the story about waking up in my bed wearing my mother's dyed mink raccoon coat.  I flung the covers off me and bubble gum balls went flying in all directions and ricocheted with deadly force against the walls and ceiling of the room.  It is really a great story, remind me to tell you!

Okay, now let's talk about another producer of mass food stuffs.

My experience today at McDonald's, #1.  I really love to eat at McDonald's but I am honestly too old to do it with any regularity.  It is just too hard on my pipes.  I have not been to a drive through at McDonald's in (probably) a year or more, but I was in a hurry today, and there was one conveniently located.  BUT, when I got in line and made it up to the ordering thing, the drive through menu INCLUDED calorie counts for the food.  THAT WILL RUIN YOUR CULINARY EXPERIENCE.  I will bet you a dollar that sales at the drive through have gone down since they started letting you know how many calories are in a double cheese burger.  I figure you ingest 2 calories for every penny you spend on the food.  That is about what my caloric intake amounted to today.  SHOCKER!

My experience today at McDonald's #2.  My total at the drive through came to $3.45.  I gave the man at the first window and $5 bill, and he handed me $2.55 in change.  I pondered this for a moment and I told him I thought he had given me too much change.  He told me my order was $3.45 and I gave him a five, and he said he owed me $2.55.  I told him no, you gave me the 55 cents, that makes four dollars and one more dollar makes five, not two more dollars.  He said LET ME SEE YOUR RECEIPT.  It says right there that I owe you $2.55.  And, yes it did, but I kept trying and he kept insisting that he had given me the correct change because that was what it said on the receipt.  I finally convinced him that (somehow) there was an error, and that he needed to take the dollar back, and he FINALLY begrudgingly agreed.

My experience today at McDonald's #3.  I am not sure, but I do not think lemonade and Coke are anywhere close to the same thing.  I ordered a SMALL Coke (see two paragraphs above about caloric intake), and I was handed my drink that did not seem to be the right color.  I asked the man at the SECOND window what's this and he said it's Coke.  Nope, I'm thinking this is not the right color for Coke, and after another two or three minute discussion, it was determined that, yep, I was right, that was not a Coke.

Remind me to tell you about the time I put my car in park at the Second window of a McDonald's drive through in New Orleans and walked inside to speak with the manager.  Progress at that drive through came to a screeching halt, and there was not enough the could do for me to get me back in my car and leave.  It's a really great story, remind me to tell you.

Oh, here is another story you should remind me to tell you.  1958 in Southgate, Michigan where they are building the first McDonald's I had ever seen, and my friend Dennis Lescinski and climb up in a tree to watch the construction, wonder what a french fry is and practice our cuss words.  It's a really great story, remind me to tell you.

Deeds, Actions, Changes, ADVENTURES IN MASS PRODUCED FOODS, Kindnesses, Whirled Peas, FUN!